Personal Space: A modern construct or a necessity


I have not written something for a long time so its time for me to get back to my "therapy", which is writing of course, lol.

From where I come I don't think it would be scary for my folks if Indians even uttered the word "therapy". Like Justina Macahdao's character says in "one day at a time" (brilliant series) that if she tells her Cuban family she needs a shrink, they would label her as "locos". That's the kind of universal umbrella we have as well for Indians , which is a discussion for another time.

Getting back to this concept of personal space which I was suddenly exposed to when I chose to move to South Africa in September 2013 after my doctoral degree (Brag, brag, lol).


So while growing up all of my family lived in the same house. All my uncles, aunts, their spouses and their children. My dad has 5 brothers and 4 sisters, and on an average each one has three children, don't forget the spouses lol, so around 60 people including my grandparents. Even we would not have a full house all the time, all of us super social so at any given time we would have +5 people who are friends of various people living with us as well.

My poor aunts and my mother had to cater for all of them, IMAGINE! So growing up was very much fun with its share of heartbreaks. On one hand you had so many people to interact at many levels, you being the child, were constantly being "disciplined" (one thing that happens in Indian families, better sense is prevailing among the educated Indians now but yeah). I grew up like that. Then was at a boarding school where there were like few hundred other people who were learning with you and constantly interacting (none of the mean Hollywood movie shit, it was more like Hogwarts like how it was depicted in the "Philosopher's stone", the book and the movie).

Then during my graduation years I lived with 4 other great friends of mine where there was constant interaction and influx of people and more and more people to interact.

Contrast this to me being in a Foreign land where , people don't even speak my "Hindi". Lol at some point I commented within my first few weeks "I feel like the token ethnic character in a South African movie".

There was so less interaction and just so much time to myself.

Initially I detested it and at some point missed of all it to an extent that I questioned the decision to even come to SA. Then slowly I adapted to it and realized, there is so much more that I can do with this time and I did.
I started:
  •  Writing this blog @abhimanthan
  • Paying attention to myself
  • Started working out  and lost a whopping 20 kilos
  • Started photography (check out my page @abhidrishti)
  • Hiking
  • Gymming
  • Traveling the world
  • Made super amazing and gifted friends

And slowly started enjoying this me time, now to the extent that I miss it when I go back home , now I crave my space (only after a long time, my recent tolerance threshold is 3 months of travel and mingling).

So this realization of mine is like a norm for may societies and people often complain about not having enough of their own space. Is this a necessity in our lives or just another modern construct or concept that we are riding very high on.

Looking at it critically since ancient times people have realized the value of own space. Be it the Indian culture where the ascetics and sages use to go and live in the jungle away from civilization for thinking, meditating or the kings and queens taking breaks from their routine and spending some time alone giving rise to places like Nalmoral castle or Camp David for the current US presidents.

Even Gautam Buddha had to leave his family and explore his own personal space to come to the realization of "Nirvana"  or "eternal happiness".

I think I have found my space and not willing to trade it for anything as of now. Only time will tell.

ENJOY ur
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